Queen of the Goat Herdresses

A few weeks ago I became obsessed with the idea of owning goats. By a few weeks, I really mean the day after Thanksgiving. That was the day I wondered into a bookstore in Vermont and found the book Backyard Homestead: Farm Animals.

The book talked about many animals, but the only one I paid any attention to was the goats. GOATS. I decided I wanted goats. I wanted them badly.

Then I remembered I don't own property. I don't even lease property. I rent from a semi-sketch man with a goatee. The fact that my landowner has a goatee only further inspired me. I was determined to get goats. I remembered I had parents. I remembered my parents owned land in California. I remembered they lived on this land and called it home. I remembered that it covered about half an acre.

I decided my parents should get goats. I bought the book for my mother. I gave it to her for Christmas. That night, while everyone else slept, I read the entire book.

I decided my parents were getting Nigerian Dwarf goats. Soon. I searched the internet for websites on backyard goats. It was very encouraging. I decided my mom could make goat cheese and soap from the goats' milk. We needed goats. This became only clearer the more I researched.

I dreamed of goats. I discussed goats with anyone who would listen. I lectured my parents on the environmental benefits of raising animals for their dairy products. I explained to my parents about the cheese, and the milk, and the soap, and the cream. I dreamed about herding goats in the 16th century. I googled images of goats. I researched goat milk recipes. I created a binder of information about goats for my parents.

I frequently dreamed of goat herding contests. I won. I became Queen of the Goat Herdresses.

I continued to explain the benefits of goats to my parents. My parents said they would think about it.

I won't give up the dream. Do you have goats?! Tell me about your goats!!!!!! TELL ME YOU HAVE GOATS IN YOUR BACKYARD AND I CAN COME SEE THEM BY THURSDAY!!!!!

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