Pets People Should Have

Have you ever wondered why everyone and their mother and brother and grandma and sixth cousin in Peru has a cat or a dog? Don’t get me wrong, I have two cats and a dog, but you’d think some people would branch out a bit and get more interesting pets. I mean we domesticated wolves and lions to get cats and dogs, why can’t we do the same with other vicious man eating carnivores?

For instance how cool would a domesticated crocodile be? Almost as cool as a domesticated alligator, let me tell you. Apparently there is also a distinct difference between these two animals (something to do with the teeth and eyes (or nostrils), hell if I remember), but let’s face it, you wouldn’t want to come across either while swimming in your best friend’s third cousin’s pool, now would you? 

BUT if we domesticated the crocigator we’d have a truly amazing pet. I mean, they can hiss like cats, so they can probably purr like cats too and who wouldn’t want to curl up every night with a domesticated crocodile purring in your ear? These days with all the advancements in genetics we might even be able to make it warm blooded. We could call these delightful new pets crocodilus perdomo or croc-mos for short. They’d be just lovely. I’d buy one in a heart beat.

            Or if the croc-mos really aren’t your thing, perhaps we could domesticated killer whales and keep them in our bathtubs. I went to Alaska on a family vacation when I was eleven and all I remember (other than glaciers in 95 degree heat and how hard it was to sneak out when it was light outside 22 hours of the day) is the killer whales we saw jumping around.

I’m assuming the ones we saw we jumping for joy upon seeing our tourboat and not viciously trying to kill baby seals, but really they were truly kind, sweet creatures begging to be domesticated. I mean if we can take huge sea creatures like the monstrous blue fin tuna I saw swimming around in that gigantic tank at the Monterey Bay Aquarium and domesticate it into a tiny little beta fish that lives in the mug I found on my desk, why can’t we shrink killer whales a tad?

They’d be perfect pets! I saw Free Willy and Free Willy II and Free Willy MXXXXIII about three million and a half times and the killer whales just swim around jumping every time someone raises their hand above their head.

These are FRIENDLY creatures. And how awesome would they be in class if everyone brought their tanks? Every time the professor asked a question and people answered, these adorable little killer whales would jump over our heads. Sign me up.