How I Embraced My Non-Existant Indian Heritage

Somedays, everything is fine. You wake up, you look in the mirror, you give yourself that cocky chin nod thing, and say "How you doin'?"

Other days, this does not happen. Some days you look in the mirror and think, "WHAT?! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!?! THAT WAS NOT THERE LAST NIGHT!!"

For example, the other night I went to bed relatively early, looking forward to actually sleeping not that fencing season was over.

I looked in the mirror while brushing my teeth. I looked fine. Tired, but fine.

So I went to bed, expecting to wake up the following morning looking equally fine, but with more bedhead and possibly some large under eye circles. 

Unfortunately this was not the case. When I woke up the next morning I stared at the mirror.

Something was not right. In fact, something was definitely very wrong. I looked closer.




There it was just sitting there in the middle of my forehead, taunting me.

What. The. Fuck. Where did you come from?!!!!!!!!!?!??!????????????????

I could tell this disgusting lurker was out to get me. I could tell it purposely came up right in the center of my forehead just to be pure evil. It intended to torture me. I knew I had two choices.

Get MAD:

Or:

Embrace my inner Indian heritage.

I am not Indian, however, and despite how great I look in this sari, I will never be Indian. So I ended up going with the former.


PS. Indian dancers image from here